On Hold For Twenty Years ...

Sometimes i just sit back and think .. What happened to me ?! Am i really 20 years old .. wow years must have gone by so fast ,, 20 years are like a lot of time and tho they are alot i am still waiting for my life to start .. but when will it ?! do i need other 20 years to make feel like i lived or did something thats worth mentioning i am afraid that life will pass by and i will wake up someday to found my self a 30 year old lonely girl with no friends no husband no kids no nothing to be mentioned just a crappy job and a crappy life thats my biggest fear .. to live and die like an ordinary person and i've always felt am anything but ordinary am a real strong girl who can do whatever she wants and have potential .. thats what i think of my self .. i can't be nothing but the thing is each year i grow bigger i see more ugly truthes about life .. life is cruel and unfair sometimes i pray for something good to happen so i can keep going but really nothing seems to be happening so i go like making a silver lining of everything bad though actually some stuff are just pure bad no silver lining but i try to keep going and make it to another day .. day after day waiting for the day that 
something good will happen in it .. but will it ever come !! this is the question ....