Hands Over My Head Thinking What Else Could Go Wrong !!

I and my Boyfriend Broke up yesterday .. i promised myself i won't talk about it but i just can't keep it in me anymore .. four long years are gone by the wind .. and for what ? i seriously dunno .. i dunno how we reached this limit where both of us are despising each others hurting eachothers intentionally .. and the thing is i said it its over and he simply walked away just like this with every step he took away from me i could see and memory turning into smoke ..
memories .. memories .. memories oh how many of them .. how many times i woke up thankful to god for giving me this guy and wondered what could i've done without him .. i remember every outing every time we laughed our a**es off about something .. i remember him getting me something just cause i asked for it and i forgot but he didn't .. i remember a time when we really loved eachother whn he was ready to do anything to me .. when life was in pink !
then problems happened .. lots of them lots of stuff saying we shouldn't be together but seriously to this moment i still believe that he is the one for me .. every one now is telling me its for the best and thats the right thing to do especially when the two of you had hit a dead end .. and its destiny but seriously no wise words gonna stop this pain inside me .. stop telling me its okay and its the right thing No its not it feels everything but right yeah we had some issues but i swear that it wasn't us we are two humans kids and they put like a 100 mountain between us but we managed to stay together .. but it was never the same .. they took hope from us and without hope we survived a whole year  so dun just tell me it was us cause i believe it wasn't us yeah we did fight alot but in different circumstances i know it would have been so different 
the pain of losing him is still unbearable i try to convince my self that thats is for the best but my heart just can't accept this fact .. so people its not okay even if its over now and really for good i will be sad i will mourn these 4 years properly .. and if he is mine i know we will find a way back to eachother ..