Bruised and Scarred

its been a month since i last wrote anything here i would love to say that everything has been better but its not better at all 
i am not okay .. i feel lonely .. this huge void inside of me is getting bigger .. feel so scared like am in a big sea in this tiny tiny boat all by myself 
my dad passed away 11 days ago .. i dunno how am dealing with it cause probably am not dealing with it to begin with i am just acting like everything is okay when its very far from okay .. i tell everyone am fine and act strong when am not i really miss my daddy everytime the door opens i feel like he is coming in i swear i could hear his voice sometimes i wake up at night and go check his bed maybe its all a dream and he will be still there i hope you are in a better place dad of course but its like am having one of this bad dreams and i can't wake up i the saddest thing is that you never knew its gonna happen you dunno when to say goodbye i didn't get to say goodbye or tell you how much i love you or how much i will miss you or that am sorry if i ever annoyed you i needed that last hug  .. your hug dad that made everything feels okay u gave me protection and now i feel so small without you .. 
and you .. my baby my sweetheart .. you were everything i wanted .. i expected you to be here to be with me in such a weird time but u weren't we had this fight over nothing and then u r not there anymore .. i can't seem to find u u nvr call again unless i ask u to WHERE THE FUCK R U !! i need you the most and where r you i dunno why u  took ur side again like the last time and u dun wanna talk to me anymore tho i needed u the most i wish o culd understand what r u thinking .. i mean r u doing this on purpose do u want us to stop talking like the last time .. cause thats what you seem to be doing !! i wish you could come to your senses cause i really need you to get me through this !

If you wanna get with me There are some things you gotta know I like my Beat fast and my Bass Down Low

Wanna Make the World Dance .. Forget About the Price Tag ♫

I'm a Rebel but I do it with Class !!

Who Would Have Known How Bitter Sweet This Will Taste ♥

Two Freaking long months exactly was the time we stopped talking to each other in .. yesterday we finally talked i was having the weirdest feelings ever strange mixed feelings .. i was happy i was sad i was surprised i dunno what was i feeling actually but we had a decent conversation for 3 hours without fighting just like the old times when we were friends before anything when we used to have fun & laugh together and that we didn't do in ages even when we were still together .. we talked we catched up and remembered our days together and suddenly it hit me .. the pain of losing you i suddenly felt it i suddenly felt all that i was suppressing inside of me i suddenly felt you were gone and that there is no more me & you i suddenly find myself smiling to the chat box a big wide smile and tears running downs my cheeks i was happy and sad at the same time .. i didn't know what to do or what to say all i know for sure is the i have missed you ♥

I gave you the space so you could breathe I kept my distance so you would be free I hope that you find the missing piece to bring u back to me :)

I PASSED :D:D:D

thank god i passes all my courses for this semester :D:D:D:D am so happy i passed them all THANK YOU GOD I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH

So What If You R Hot & I'm Not You'll See That Am a Funny Guy Won't Make You Cry So Be Mine ♪♫

I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded that for me,It isn't Over :)

No I don't believe you When you say you don't need me anymore So don't pretend to Not love me at all

FREAKING OUT

i have a make up exam tomorrow :( i hate it and am not having a good feeling about it .. i dun update much today cause am busy tryna study anything so i can do anything tomorrow in the exam plus my mid year grades are supposed to come up tomorrow .. :S:S:S am so scared really i can only say PLEASE GOD STAY WITH ME i hope i pass all the courses .. YA RAB  !!

Bow Chicka Wow Wow :)

Baby its a Long Long Long Way Down Falling From Heaven ♥♥

Ghosts of Girlfriends Pasts

was my movie choice last night ,, its a nice movie with a really nice idea instead of the usual Christmas carol connor is taken into a trip thro his life past present and future to see how much he hurt the girl he loved and how he made her feel when he walked away from her .. its a good movie i wish this happened to my ex boyfriend i wish he could see how many times he made me cry ! 
any ways i totally recommend it for a movie night its nice :)

Every New Day is a New Chance for Me to be Happy :)

this my new motto :) i need to be happy i deserve to be happy i'll try to focus on the good things in my life i'll try to focus on other things other than my lousy love life
i woke up today in kinda a good mood dunno why tho i didn't sleep well i slept like 9 am in the morning and woke up a 1 pm ,, i have college tomorrow and my mid year grades are supposed to come up tomorrow or the day after am really scared :S but i dunno i want to know it to get over with it
i have an exam in two days which i know nothing about :S:S:S i need to do some studying today i hope i pass this course cause i really hate organic chemistry and i hate studying it :S
i have to study it so i could pass it i really wish i pass all courses this term it will be something good to happen to me and it will make me happy so much i hope so really 
anyways i dun feel like studying yet ... so i'll just see whats new on facebok and all till i feel like it
ttyl .kisses

I'm Your Woman Now Baby Take Me Away :)

Those People Who Just Make You Happy By a Simple Phone Call

Today i had one of those phone calls that can just make my day .. some people just bring happiness to my life by just being in it and you do so .. you always make me laugh and i am always happy talking to you 'cause some how i think you were god's gift to me to make me go through such a harsh time ,, they say when life shuts a door it opens a window .. i believe your friendship is my window .. just a phone call can turn my day around even when am so upset you always manage to cheer me up and don't hang up until i am laughing and feeling all better i do not think you realize what you mean to me you came to me when i was at my lowest that's why i'll always be there for you and i'll always get you back and do whatever it takes to repay what you did to my life even without noticing ! I hope we stay friends forever xx

Breakfast At Tiffany's

it was my movie choice last night ,, a real old chick flick lol its from 1961 i guess but i really liked it tho ,, i like the old movies to be honest i like every thing from the 50s and 60s for a while i was so obsessed with the old songs the doo woops and jazz and old RnB the early starts anyways back to the movie its about a messed up girl who thinks tiffany's the jewellary shop is heaven on earth and she meets paul the guy who just moved in upstairs and they become friends and slowly he gets attached with her weird character its a nice movie to watch for a girls night :)

Here I am and I can’t seem to see straight I’m too numb to feel right now And here I am watching the clock that’s ticking away my time ...

Friday 4th March 2011

just a day like any other day but i actually feel good today am happy been watching the news am so happy for my country Egypt am really so proud of my people and proud of being egyptian i can almost see a better future i'll write all about it later 
Right now am listening to nile fm ,, its cairo's #1 cairo's hit station , there is this rock show but actually am waiting for my weekly dose of RnB n HipHop with Cairo's #1 Dj Feedo :) 
Catch Y'all Later . Hugs

Am About to Lose my Mind You've Been Gone For so Long Am Running Out of Time I Need a Doctor Call me a Doctor to Bring me Back to Life

this time i am not writing that i miss you or how i wish u were still here today am really angry at you for doing to me alot of stuff that i dun deserve i dun really deserve being treated like shit i really loved you more than anything in the world i gave you my all there were no boundaries for my love for you or what i was ready to do just to stay with you and the fuck i got in  return !! i got dumped not literally cause basically i was the one who broke it off but it was you you pushed me into it i cannot even start with the listing the number of things you did to me in this last period how you couldn't even admit i am your girlfriend how you couldn't say that you love me back !! 
you know what happened today ? a friend of mine who had broke up with her bf like at the same time we both broke up she broke up with him you know why because he didn't appreciate her and he used to fight with her alot you know whats funny she didn't even take half the shit i took from you he didn't even do half what you did with me from u hanging up on me to saying that am not your girlfriend to dumping me whenever u get a chance you know you dumped me three times in 5 months !! when in our entire relationship we only broke up four times through the 4 years three of them where just in the last 5 months you know whats funnier !! that he kept begging her till he got her back when i didn't even get a proper break up .. why did you do this to me ? i know you loved me but why you never tried to compromise once for me just for me once you say you are sorry or that you miss me or at least i will be missed ! i dunno why tho you were the only thing i wanted from this whole world i would have done anything for ya .....

You know its killin me Baby how can I let u go Suddenly there is nothing I need more

Can't Get it Outta my Head since i Woke up .. It Just Makes me Dancy :)

Cop Out

it was my movie choice yesterday its AMAZING  i was literally laughing my ass off its so funny from the first scene till the very last one absoloutly funny i dig bruce willis and its an action comedy i'd give it 10 outta 10 even much funnier than Due date :) you should all watch it 
Enjoy !

Four steps to a perfect long lasting manicure

1. To a clean, dry nail, apply an adhesive basecoat. Allow a couple of minutes to dry.
2. Apply two then coats of polish allowing time to dry between coats.
3. Apply a thin layer of top coat.
4. Do not touch anything for 20 minutes.

I breathe you in again Just to feel you Underneath my skin Holding onto the Sweet escape is Always laced by a Familiar Taste of Poison

I Was Thinking About Her Thinking About Me Thinking About Us All We Gonna Be Opened My Eyes it Was Only Just A Dream !!!

Due Date

just one word : FUNNY so damn funny its one of my favorites definetly its really a great movie and one of the best i've seen in a really long time .. i've seen it a week ago and i saw it again yesterday its so amazing so funny i totally recommend it for a movie night 

The Daily Skin Care Routine

It doesn't need to be elaborate but these 3 steps are essential? You can add additional laying steps such as applying a toners or an exfoliant as your skin demands but these 3 are the essential steps.

1. Cleanse: Wash your skin thoroughly on a daily basis to remove the dirt, debris, pollutants, and perspiration that accumulates on a daily basis. If you have dry or sensitive skin, use only warm water to wash your skin and use a mild natural cleanser every few days. If you have normal or oily skin, be sure to wash with a gentle cleanser on a daily basis. 

2. Moisturize: Unless your skin is very oily, you will want to use a moisturizer everyday to keep your skin hydrated and healthy. Your skin needs moisturizer all year long as both the indoor winter heat, and summer sun can be equally damaging to your skin.

3. Protect: Use a sunscreen when possible, regardless of whether or not you plan on spending much time in the sun. The sun's rays are very damaging and if you get in the habit of applying sunscreen

I'm Moving on I'm Feeling Strong Inside But Sometimes I Cry Baby When Am All Alone With This Heart of Mine

You are a Sweet Dream or a Beautiful Nightmare

Yesterday i had a dream about you .. I didn't have any dreams about you since a really long time .. i dreamt i was walking home and i suddenly found you infront of me as much i was shocked i couldn't help it but hug you so close to me as if i was afriad i was dreaming .. sadly i really was :S 
then we got into your car you told me you missed me and i swore i could see that look you always looked at me except for the last months .. that i love you look and told me you had this new job and you were really doing great at it and kept explaining it to me then we went to a cafe or something but i looked like my house and we sat together and we were sharing a chocolate ice cream hehe and we were having fun just like the old days then sadly i woke up ..i wish i've stayed asleep forever .. i missed that warm person that wasn't with me even when we were still together 

it was just a dream .. and it was nice seeing you after all this time even if in a dream cause i know it won't happen in reality although i pray you prove me wrong

She was the sweetest ever What happened to forever She never say never She rather say whatever I’d rather stay 2gether & she’d rather chase the devil

You know when it starts to get late And its time to go to sleep I dont know what to do Cause i dont wanna hold my pillow I wanna hold you !!!

Open your Heart .. Am Coming Home !

Oh how i wish i could just say that to you .. i miss my home so much aka your heart i miss knowing that it was my place .. i miss your smell your warmness i miss not being lonely without you .. i wanna come back home i need to feel protected again i miss that feeling of knowing that someone has my back not just someone that feeling of you having my back .. i wish i could just re live one of those days when we grabbed a pizza and just went there into our own magical world where no one can reach us it was all me and you just having fun just there for each other just loving each other .. i really need one of those days .. those days are what makes me hate you and love you at the same time .. hate you for letting me go and depriving me from such days and love you cause you really gave me such great memories when we were together !

But it was only a fantasy The wall was too high as you can see No matter how he tried he could not break free

The Art of Moving on

Moving on is not an overnight activity. You cannot simply say at night that you will move on tomorrow and expect it to happen the next day. It is a hurting process, made more painful if you still have that small part in you hoping against hope that he will come back. If you are missing your ex boyfriend now but you do not know how to move on, here are some things to help you do that moving on process.
• Stick to your mind the fact that the two of you are over. When all you can think about is missing your ex boyfriend, that is exactly what you will feel. Get a hold of yourself, girl, and do not pick up that phone to call him. Moving on can be made easy if you will only help yourself, not push it to desperation.
• Remove from your sight all those things which remind you of him. Give him back what he owns and get back those which are yours. If you will continuously keep those trinkets and mementos in your room, missing your ex boyfriend will only worsen. Do not dwell in self-torture by looking at something as insignificant as a restaurant receipt that will just bring back memories of him.
• Let go of your pent-up emotions by writing a letter addressed to your ex then burning it afterwards. You can write here how much you valued your relationship, how much you love him or something saying that you are missing your ex boyfriend. This will serve as the channel of those words that you cannot directly say to your ex. After burning it, you will feel not only satisfaction but also relief.
• A romantic relationship might have ended but friendship must not be forgotten. Since most people tend to overlook their friends and relatives when they are in a relationship, reconnecting with them after a break up will be good. You can stop from missing your ex if you will mingle with those people who truly care for you. Even if a thousand boyfriends dump you, these people will surely never leave your side.
• When you were in the relationship, most of your time was spent with him. So now that you are single again, it is good if you will start meeting new faces by engaging in worthy activities. Fill that emotional emptiness of yours with schedules of dance lessons, extension courses, environmental activities and the likes. These things will help you take out of your mind those thoughts of him, making moving on a bit easier.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger .. It Will All Get Better In Time

A New Day Has Come :)

Morning Y'all ! 
just woke up like two hours ago .. Sorry been so busy these last few days i cudn't update my blog ! on sunday i went out with my friend Sarah , just like the old times really i was so happy i had so much fun we hanged out a lil bit had lunch @ Macdonalds which is our favorite place on earth lol and typically we shared the fries as ALWAYS hehe then we went to the sports club there is this kids swing we always sit on and buy some big fat bag of candy and gummy bears and start eating it and talking about any shit on our minds hehe oh how i missed that and how i missed having my best friend with me it was fun actually :)

i have an organic chemisty exam in few days and i should probably start studying for it lol i had the weirdest dream yesterday that i got a really high mark on my english exam ! and thw weird part is i dun even take English anymore lol 


am a bit sick today :( sore throat :( ) .. wish me to get well soon readers haha 
anyways i'll update soon with more songs or anything that come up on my mind lol 
ttyl . hugs

Until you Find Yourself its Impossible to Lose You Because I Never Had You Although I Wud Be Glad To I Probably Go and Tatoo Your Name On My Heart :)

Now Everytime that I See you I Pretend Am Fine When i Wanna Reach out to You !!

Don't Forget About Us

I promised you once that i'll nvr forget you or get married to anyone but you and so far i didn't break those two promises , two months went by and i still somehow feel that am yours and that you are mine .. i miss you i really do .. i didn't forget you yet and so far it seems so impossible to do that .. i still hold every good memory in my heart .. i hope you didn't forget about me .. sometimes i wonder if u moved on already do you still think of me as i still think of you or do you think of someone else .. i hope you are doing fine .. Don't forget about Us !

I Wish Today it Will Rain All Day Maybe That Will Kinda Make the Pain Go Away !!

Total Eclipse of The Heart

I still remember how everything looked better when i was in love .. i mean those days when a good phone call or a " i love you " text message used to make my whole day ,, it was nice having something to live for other than myself having someone to take care of me to be there for me .. the bad things that u did to me don't hurt me they are not what hurt or bother me the most what hurts the most are the good things the memories we made together the hopes and the dreams that were thrown away those are what making the getting over you really hard . Being close to you and seeing much with you made me see your flaws but as well it made me see how great you were with me how much fun we had together how we used to sing in the car and go to new places and argue about everything just for fun .. I remember when u used to look at me with your eyes saying what u don't really say showing how much you love me how much you care for me .. You did alot to me i became another person witya we were helding hands while crossing to maturation from being just kids .. I don't really regret having you in my life and i didn't want it to end this way .. but its over now it too late to save our love and even if its not too late am not the one who is gonna save it cause i did Enough 

 










 

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Friday Night Flava's By Dj Feedo

Almost 20 minutes left for the show to begin , Friday night flavas is the only radio RnB & HipHop Show in the Egyptian Radio ( Nile Fm ) presented my Cairo's #1 HipHop & RnB Dj Aka Dj Feedo ,, its my Favorite Radio show to be honest since am a Big fan of hiphop & RnB and a Bigger Fan of Dj Feedo himself he is a sweatheart you can follow him here : 

http://twitter.com/DJFeedo
http://myspace.com/djfeedo
http://djfeedo.com

and you can listen to the show online @ : www.nilefmonline.com    
the show starts @ 6 pm Cairo's time sharp .. tune in for the best RnB & Hiphop music all new and exclusive Dj Feedo mash ups 

Dj Feedo

 Ladies !! He is Single .. Y'all know what to do hehe ;)

Aubrey Drake Graham

Isn't he just the Sexiest man alive !! i dunno what kind of charm he has but am obsessed with him he is an amazing Rapper and i dunno when he raps its just go straight to my heart .. as if he was singing to me ( oh i wish haha ) he is just so amazing so hot  so talented KEEP GOIN' DRAKE you are the Best !!

My Drizzy ♥

I've Given You Too Much BUT I am Taking Back my Love

MORNING Y'ALL :)

Rihanna's Life

1st : Chris brown hits her
2nd : Eminem Lies to Her
3rd : Drake cannot remember her name 
What a Life you have Rihanna .. Oh Na Na thats a Shame :P

Movie of the Day " Get Him To The Greek "

i watched this movie yesterday its actually a june 2010 production but it didn't come to the movies here in Egypt so i just got it from the internet
its freakin' funny !! starring russel brands which is katy perry husband if u dunno he is quite funny actually and the plot is about a guy who works in the music industry travels to england to get aldous snow - russel brands - who is a rock star to the usa for a concert in the greek theatre n they get to know each other 
its a nice movie .. i recommend it for a movie night ;) 

" Tune of the Day " Baby Please Dun Go !!

Sometimes I cry Baby ..

beeen a really long time since i last wrote here .. well nothing much changed i wanted to say its better n all but here i am once again heart broken hehe but this time am much stronger am moving on and trying to look ahead i accepted it i accepted that the guy i loved nd i really tho8 he is the one isn't mine anymore am starting to let go maybe that cliche that we hear in movies that after a break up we shud take time n work on our selves isn't so bad afterall
well its time for me to start focusing on me what i want what i need n how to be independant n learn how to start taking care of myself  n not needing someone to lean on
i can't say i dun miss him .. i can't say that when i see smth he got me or hear a song that had a special memory between the two of us my eyes can't help it but tear but i have to move on and let you go and who knows what the future holds .. Maybe oneday you'll come back to me n we'll have a better relationship or Maybe i'll meet the person that i was supposed to be with all along n he will give me something better .. i dunno the unknown but i know am gonna be fine coz simply " Life goes on " !!